5 REASONS I AM SO GODDAMN TIRED OF ARTICLES/POSTS WITH NUMBERED LISTS

I grow so weary  of “6 Things You Need to Know about Blabbity Blah.”

1.     When, exactly, did this happen? When did the zeitgeist moment occur that every article and every blog post was required to have a number in the title and a list in the contents?  “7 Ways to Tell She’s Cheating On You, “6 Reasons to Get Professional Help,” “5 Tips to Avoid Killing that Slimy Ass-Ho,”  “8 Celebrities Who Can’t Stop Cheating,” etc. etc. etc.

Help me out with this, people, cause if I try real hard, I can remember (vaguely) a time before numbers and lists were the thing.  I feel like I remember reading stuff in what we called back then, “magazines and newspapers,” that was, you know, just “investigative journalism” plus some expert opinion tied in for a few laughs.  Hardly anyone counted anything, so it seems to me, but now that I think back about that, it seems AMAZING.  How on earth could we title something now unless we had a list of tips, tricks, or reasons?  What the f*ck were we talking about back then? Were we even aware that the earth was round? 

2.     Like the Dog in “Up,” I, Too, Wear the Cone of Shame.  I want to blame y’all for this, but unfortunately, I can’t, because I am totally a co-conspirator.  Not only have I written blogs, articles, and titles like this myself, not only have I edited articles/blogs/ for other professionals with titles like, “4 Techniques to Face Your Dating Fears,” but I have also encouraged perfectly naïve and innocent clients, beginning solo entrepreneurs who never would have thought of such trickery and manipulation on their own, to pick up the Numbered List Technique.  I know.  It’s supergross.  I realize this.  Mea Culpa. But, you know, the people seem to like it!

That’s the number one reason why I did it.  Reason number two: I like my clients to get more attention and make more money, and number three: I am a huge cheesy sell out and I tend to like things other people like. 

3.     Is it Just Cause We Can’t Remember Stuff Unless it’s In an Acronym or Fewer Than Seven Units? Or Is There a More Sinister Reason?  So, I can tell you what the guy who wrote Hardwiring Happiness calls the four essential neurological step to having a more happy life (It’s in an acronym called “HEAL”) and I can tell you what my phone number is (but I’m not going to right now), because it’s 7 “units” of information long, which is apparently as much as we can handle at any one time, according to brain and memory experts. 

So that makes me think, Okay, it’s probably no big thing that now every goddamned article/post in the world has a list of tips, most of which are 7 or fewer items long, some of which have acronyms.  It’s just because the authors want to help us remember stuff.  Unless there’s actually somebody who owns a copyright to all combinations of the phrase “X (number) Y (reasons/tips/signs/ways) to Z (amputate your foot/write a book proposal, etc)? Cause it that person DOES exist, and he or she is a puppet master pulling all the strings, and maybe secretly works for Google who is WATCHING US ALL RIGHT NOW, we might be totally screwed.

4.     Is This Going to Spill Over Into the Rest of Life?  Shit, son, that moment has also already done come!  Last month I received a coy invitation entitled, “6 Reasons to Attend Shelly’s Baby Shower.”  I really wanted to send my RSVP with the note:  “2 Reasons I Am Attending Shelly’s Baby Shower:  1) I really like Shelly and consider her a friend, and 2) I don’t have anything, like, way better to do that day.”

But I didn’t, because I know it isn’t Shelly’s friend’s fault.  She’s just caught up in a storm, man, a storm in which each and every one of us is caught and lost, and I’m pretty sure we’re stuck in here until someone starts creating “5 Ways to Publish Content Without Lists” and leads the revolution.  

5.     But It Ain’t Going to Be Me, Because:

A)   I’m re-watching True Blood, and it’s the second season right now, which is my favorite.

B)   I still have to lay out to tan, at least once a week.  Tanorexia doesn’t maintain itself, you know.  Even when you’re old, like me. 

C)   I have to decide where I stand on the whole issue of last year’s impulse buy peplum skirt.  Is it so 2013? Or can I still get away with it?

The Difference Between Law of Attraction and Wishful Thinking (Part Three)

A Case Study in Career Success and Suicide Starring Justin Bieber.

Part Three

Oh my gosh, you guys.  I am a spazmonster.  I thought I posted this two weeks ago, but I did not.  My only excuse is that I have been in a craptacular Cat Allergy fugue due to a recent feline addition to my home.  My furry orange friend, alas, has now had to be removed, but his memory lives in on in my scarred lung tissue.

However! Let us return to the matter at hand.

This is the third in a series of posts about the difference between Law of Attraction and Wishful Thinking in creating a powerful career. We have been looking at the rise and fall of Justin Bieber as an example of how to use positive energy (and its opposite) to attract fans to your brand.

These tips will be easier to follow if you read Part One and Part Two of this series.

"You" Are Not as Important as The Work.

 If you are in the growth phase of a new brand, or re-inventing your career or business, do so from an Early-Bieber place of love, heart, and excellent, distinctive work.  Let this work (product, service, performance) speak for you. 

When you have shitty days (and you will) notice how the bog of Ego tends to suck you down, and conversely, how the joy of great work lifts you up, to a strong and impersonal place, and I mean impersonal in a good way 

I’m always telling people that I don’t need a parade to acknowledge how great I am, but the truth is, I would probably enjoy one.  A short parade would be fine.

Sadly, I am still waiting, and some days, I don’t feel understood, appreciated, or properly valued.  It's just too bad that I am the only person in the world who has ever felt like this.

Nothing gets me out of this nonsense faster than getting back to the work itself—my raison d’etre, my reason for being.  Also, what really helps me is to take my work as seriously as possible while not taking “myself” too seriously at all.

If You Build It, They Will Come.

Spend time getting really, really good at what you do, and then give your best and most loving attention to your ideal client, customer, or audience.  

Don’t half-ass this. Check your ego frequently and check in with your ideal audience to see if their honest response aligns with your glorious visions of the future. 

Many new entrepreneurs (and I am talking about otherwise smart, sophisticated people) make the initial Wishful Thinking mistake that their offer will be instantly popular, and then, when it isn’t, they bounce to the other side of “This is never going to work,” and start ignoring all kinds of opportunities.

If initial response isn’t all you dreamed, Congratulations.  You have now entered the world of Reality.  

But the Good News?  Reality is very malleable, and it will respond to the good energy of healthy re-invention. Remember that once-innocent Justin Bieber wasn’t an overnight success either.  After all, he spent over half of his life as a performer (the years from eight to 14) being a nobody. 

Get a Team and Treat ‘Em Like Gold.

Craft your offer of help with care and specificity, and make sure you’ve got a good team to help you showcase and share it.  It’s okay if your “team” starts out with or is composed of one other devoted person.  

Like Justin’s mom (his original “Belieber”) it helps if your team is genuinely enthusiastic about your gift.  Love your team back and praise them publicly, generously, and extravagantly.

I work with lots of insanely talented brilliant introverts who aren’t that crazy about other people, a feeling which I sometimes share, especially when I haven’t had enough alone time.  

So I get it, but keep in mind; most successful people have teams—and by teams I mean teams of competent, consistent individuals.  You want to look for people who compliment your skill set and share your standards of professionalism, whatever those may be.

Wishful thinking says, “It’s easier to just do it myself.” Yes, in the short term, sometimes it seems that way, because you don’t have to figure out how to co-ordinate action.  But there’s a reason that almost all talent (cooks, creators, athletes, inventors, performers, geniuses, visionaries, etc) have managers and agents.

Get Off Your Computer and Out into Life.

Go to your people, wherever they hang out.  Social media is great, but don’t forget to meet your peeps in person as well.  

Remember how poor fourteen-year-old Justin was scorned because nobody wanted to hear a kid on the radio (Question:  did radio execs not remember Michael Jackson or Stevie Wonder?  Hmmmm. Maybe they just thought no one wanted to hear a white kid on the radio.)

Anyway, do your own version of Justin’s 2010 mall and radio station tour, even if you do have mixed feelings about business or networking groups.  Many people do. 

Nevertheless.  Go. Talk to people. Talk to your people.  Listen.  Ask questions.  See what happens in the world as it actually is, rather than the world of your head where (on certain days) everybody loves or hates or ignores you.

Energy wise, there is something incredibly invigorating about direct contact with your people—or the people who may become your people.  

Good Law of Attraction determines that many of your interactions (but not all) are profitable and enjoyable, while Wishful Thinking will keep you at home in front of your computer and not, in fact, building an international internet empire.

Do Not Throw Eggs.

If you are already successful, or in the process of becoming so, avoid Mid-Bieber arrogance at all costs.  Don’t throw eggs at people’s houses, or at people, anywhere.  

While you are unlikely to throw literal eggs in the manner of our immature Canadian friend, you may not be so careful about your talk trash. 

Don’t trash talk about anybody you work with.  To anyone.  If I hear you talking like that about someone else you transact with, I will assume it’s only a matter of time before you get to me. 

(As I am writing this post, some lovely videos from Justin Bieber's past have surfaced, full of n-word humor.  Dude.  Are you aware that you were discovered by Usher??? I am really tempted to Never Say Never.)

Okay, so you (unlike Justin) don't throw eggs and don't say nasty stuff about other people.  But what about your self trash talk?

Wishful thinking says that you can get away with lots of internal whining, blaming, or complaining (especially if it’s self-directed) and still be superstar successful.  

Guess what? No.  Good Law of Attraction says your path is smoothest if you train yourself to pay MORE attention to what you and other people are doing that is AWESOME.  And most important, to take "yourself" as lightly, playfully, and joyfully as you can.

Yes, both you and other people occasionally do asinine stuff as well—some of us more than others.  You can and will notice these moments, but do not dwell, unless your purpose is to find a pathway for improvement.  That, too, must be internal before you see big changes in the external.

Get Picky But Be Picky With Yourself, Too.

As you get busier and more in demand, yes, you can get a lot pickier about who and when and how you work.  

But don’t forget to maintain those same high standards when it comes to your own work.  

And I mean, HIGH.  

Unless you are the very first at something (you happen to have invented a Fountain of Youth that actually works, for example), you have a lot of competition and a lot of other people who are happy to provide a similar service/product.  Goodbye Biebs, Hello One Direction.

The final word in Law of Attraction, remember, is that we attract more and more and more of What or Who We Are.  Since What and Who We Are is defined by our habits (of thinking, feeling, acting, and speaking), there is nothing so vital (if we want different results) as that we make small but consistent shifts in our everyday Ways of Being.

The final word in Wishful Thinking is to expect to attract something significantly different without making any significant changes in our Being.  And if we pay attention to how we feel, we really do know the difference.